Real Assertiveness & Influence
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The term ‘assertive’ is used in a contradictory way to both complement and criticise. This is unfortunate and is due to a misunderstanding of what true assertiveness is.
Real assertiveness is more a way of “being with” people rather than a “doing to” them. Essentially, assertiveness is about not being afraid to fully be ourselves. An assertive person is true to themselves. They express themselves fearlessly and reasonably. They are able to make a contribution when they believe it is the right thing to do. Assertiveness is not about speaking for the sake of it. The reference point for true assertiveness is the answer to the question: Who are you speaking for? The truly assertive person speaks in the interest of the whole and not in their own self interest.
Assertiveness and influence draw from each other. They are not the same, but a lot of the time, one makes use of the other in order to strengthen its power and effect.
Three questions that are rarely asked about influence are:
1) What are the influencers?
There are only two fundamental influencers: Reason and Love. The challenge is how to bring both of these into our exchanges with people. Consider anyone who has ever influenced you, say a past teacher. Why did that teacher have such an influence on you? If they had a positive influence you will find that attributes of love and reason were present. If they had a negative influence, you will find that attributes of love and reason were absent.
2) Can you fake influence?
No, it won’t work. It has to be the real thing or it won’t have any lasting effect. And if the influence is negative, its defects will be found out sooner or later by the influenced person and they will eventually shake it off. Only positive influence endures and wins out at the end of the day.
3) What is the relation between influence and assertiveness?
A truly assertive person is more reasonable, more open, more truthful, and more genuine. A person who is assertive will then be in a better position to influence people.
This course will equip you with an unshakeable understanding of what it means to be assertive and to influence. You will be ready to speak up when you need to, express yourself with confidence and remain consistent regardless of the audience.
Who should attend?
Suitable for all, particularly those seeking to raise the confidence and ability to communicate with greater freedom in all circumstances.Team builders, negotiators, managers and others who need to improve their skills to influence others and bring about change.Duration
2 Days (9:00 am – 5:00 pm)Course Content
- What is assertiveness? – broadening our understanding
- The qualities and attributes of true assertiveness
- Awareness and overcoming habitual patterns of behaviour
- How to develop greater presence and composure
- Cultivating an open and fearless response to people and events
- Speaking with clarity and without fear
- What does it mean to have real freedom of speech in all circumstances?
- Eliminating self-consciousness and self-limiting ideas
- What is the link between assertiveness and influence?
- What are the real influencers?
- Understanding the true art of persuasion
- Developing questioning skills
- Listening and knowing when to stop talking
- Lending power and authority through speech
- Self-control – how to steady our emotions
- Overcoming intimidation
- Practical exercises and directions for ongoing development
The Benefits
Having completed this course, you will- Understand what true assertiveness involves
- Have greater clarity and confidence in meeting challenging people and events
- Be able to remain fully yourself and be able to face what you previously feared
- Be able to overcome self-limiting ideas
- Have greater skills and power to influence
- Know how to create trust and encourage others
- Know how to create a readiness in others to respond positively and willingly
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